Welcome Readers

Keep it real?  No thanks.  I'd rather be keeping it virtual.  

Couple of points of interest here:  

1.  KeepingItVirtual.blogspot.com was not available.  I thought of it ages ago, but I'm quick to think, slow to act.  You'll see.  

In any event, when I saw that it was not available, the first thing I thought was, "Stop saying whatever your brother is saying, seconds before he says it!"  I think that was from an episode of Roseanne.  I lose.

2.  For this day forward, you will refer to me as KIP.  Of course, I understand that Keeping It Virtual would transform into KIV, not KIP, but I have my reasons.  

Fine, I'll expound.  I probably have a learning disorder, because back when I was in elementary school, I didn't know that K.I.T. stood for Keep In Touch.  Furthermore, the first person who wrote it in my yearbook, in like sixth grade, had poor penmanship, and the T looked a lot like a P.  But she was popular, and I thought I'd echo her sentiments in others' books, so I went around writing K.I.P. in everyone's book.  I figured it stood for Keep In Peace or something equally radical.  Even AFTER I found out K.I.T. stood for Keep In Touch, my brain still had K.I.P. memorized, after writing it in the annuals of thirty of my peers.  And even now, when I jokingly write K.I.T., to be ironic or cute or whatever, I still think K.I.P. before writing K.I.T.  

I like my real name, but I'd rather be a poorly-designed string of initials that highlight my brain problems, in order to maintain some sense of anonymity.   I prefer, when you read KIP in your head, that you pronounce it phonetically, and not as K.I.P.  Just trying to Keep It Virtual. However, I feel obligated to mention, if you know me in real life and you call me Kip, I will punch you in the neck.   I also hereby declare that K-Dawg is not a suitable alternative. K-Town, however, will be accepted on a case-by-case basis. 

3.  This anonymous thing will not work out, I'm sure of it.  That doesn't mean I won't insist on dragging it on, well past the point of no return.  Sort of like how I hold onto the word "radical" and the band Oasis.  

4.  You are invited, nay ENCOURAGED to participate.  I will probably ask you to guest blog, even if you are the only reader.  I think guest blogging is hilariously egotistical, and yet undeniably essential to keeping up readership numbers.  Get used to tongue-in-cheek antics veiling earnest concern for high blog statistics.

That said, enjoy my attempt at a new blog.  I've thrown a lot of wet toilet paper at the ceiling of the blogosphere.  Let's hope this one sticks.

EDIT:  After a couple of minutes of reflection, I just can't do it.  KIP?  Really?? Kip is just so Young-Adult-novel-Best-Friend-whose-parents-get-divorced-forcing-her-to-become-a-klepto-to-gain-attention-and-steer-YA-heroine-off-the-right-path-until-lessons-are-learned-and-friends-confront-reality.  And even though reality confrontation is sort of the antithesis of this blog, I just can't take it this far.   

Nay.  I think we'll go with that.

Cast of Characters:

Nay (me, obvs)

Eric (psuedonyms just don't do him justice) (or maybe they do, and I'm messing with your head)

Although they won't be the highlight of this blogging adventure, I may make mention of my offspring, Marie and Baby Ford.  You'll get the hang of it, I promise.

If you would like a psuedonym, drop me a line.  I am all about playing god.  

EDIT AGAIN:  K-Town is still up for grabs.  K-Rock, however, has been reserved.  You gotta be quick in this game.